(Personal bullshit) |
I don´t need you, I never will. But technically, a human cannot survive in life without friends.
We need the social challenge. But now, as I look at all of you, I don´t feel a thing. This is not my world. I´ve said it before, and I´ll say it again.
The ones that truly matters...They won´t be there when I get home. THEY ARE NEVER THERE WHEN I GET HOME.
THEY ARE NOT A PART OF REALITY HERE, THEY SHOULD NOT MATTER.
But they do. I miss them, and it´s because of them I am still here. I am fighting for my brothers, for my family.
I don´t know anymore, I can´t feel their spirits anymore. And it scares the living shit out of me.
I have no friends here. I can´t remember how it feels to have real friends anymore. The ones here, they don´t care about me, and soon, I wont care about them either.
They talk about their life, and it really seems like a life. They have problems with their family, they find love, and other things.
But the love that I see here, between two people, makes me sick. I guess it always have done.
And I´m sick of all the bitch attitude I get from everyone within this world. And I hate the attitude that I throw right back at them.
THIS IS NOT ME, I NO LONGER KNOW WHO I AM, I HAVE LOST MYSELF WITHIN THIS DREAM.
I don´t want to be here. Before, I thought that this was just beginning to become more like a life.
But now, it´s only a waiting for death to come along.
You said you want to forget about me, well then, be my guest. When I´m gone, I really am gone.
I FEEL PAIN, I FEEL LOVE FROM THE FAMILY HERE, BUT THEN, THAT´S IT.
I WANT TO BURN, I WANT TO BE CRUSHED, I WANT TO DROWN, I WANT TO FALL.
I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE THAN HERE, I DON´T WANT TO BE TRAPPED IN A ONE HUNDRED YEAR OLD DREAM ANYMORE, JUST WAITING TO WAKE UP.
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