Ai Shiteru. - prolog. |
Heavy clouds of smoke rose to the sky from the burning house. The yelling voices from inside drenched in sorrowness tried to overwin the fires crackling, not strong enough the voice faded away, finally giving in to the death.
Not far away, there was a boy. He smiled with suchs happniess it would’ve been cruel. He stood there on the hill. Then … He suddenly froze. His eyes grew wider as he saw the dark clouds rising. The boy began to run.
The screams died away a long time ago along with the fire. The rain started to pour down, almost drenching the world. The foundation of the house were still there, but the walls … The roof … Everything was a burnt mass.
The boy stopped. His eyes were in a blur and he panted lightly. He looked in shock at the burnt mass. His house… He fell to his knees. His house… Was it gone? He let the tears flow down the cheeks, as he slowly rose to his feet again a bit shaky. It couldn’t be … Were was everyone?
“Mom?!”
“Dad?!”
“Sister?!”
No response. He began to move towards the burnt mass … Everyones safe, right? Everyones safe… Yeah. Eveyrone is … Safe. They’re alive. Safe and happy. He looked on the ground, then screamed loudly. There … There …! He felt new tears in his eyes as he moved away from the burnt corpse he nearly stepped on. There she was … His beloved little sister… Burnt into ashes. What was this? Black …? Was he going to die as well? No … It felt warm … He let the darkness take him as he fell into unconsciousness.
Jag ursäktar mig ifall ni anser att min engelska är dålig, och om det är någon som vill höra fortsättning på detta, så säg. Ge mig gärna lite kritik på vad som kan förbättras 8D
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| Kommentarer - (Snittbetyg: 5) | Rinoku - 31 dec 09 - 10:28- Betyg:  | Den var jättebra skriven faktiskt. Du har ingen dålig engelska vad jag kan se iallafall ^^'
Ända stavfelen jag orkade kommentera var ett enkelt slarvfel. Happniess borde väl vara happiness?
Älskar första stycket i kursivt.
Tycker så synd om pojken och nu vill jag veta mer.
Skriver du åt mig ? :D | | KimRos - 10 aug 09 - 19:41- Betyg: | | Good! Du medlem på stallet också? ^^ |
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