angel of punk (del 3) |
I walked back to Billies room. Billie sat on his bed.
I still had a really wierd feeling after that phonecall.
I sat down and stared at the wall.
"This must have been the wierdest day of my life!"
"So far, yes." Billie said.
I raised a eyebrow and looked at him.
"What? Just because I like to fill in sentences with something wierd, from time to time." Billie smiled.
I shook my head. "Billie, Billie, Billie... What shall I go with you?"
He thought for a second. "Feed me, love me and never leave me?"
I laughed.
Billie smiled a crooked smile at me.
He bended forward thowards me.
I could feel his breath against my face.
Then our lips met and we kissed.
the feeling of his lips against mine was one of the most extrodinary feelings I've ever fellt.
The kiss stoped and he looked at me.
Then I kissed him again and he held me close to him.
Then the kissing stoped. "I don't think I've loved anyone like this before." Billie said and smiled a little.
"Me neither." I said.
I fellt his hand caressing my arm and then he smiled a bit.
"Well I need to go now." I said and stood up.
Billie stood up and huged me. "Goodbye." He said.
"Goodbye." I smiled and looked him in the eyes.
I walked away over to my house.
I opend the door and walked in. "I'm home!"
Dad looked at me from the coutch.
"How was it otside?"
"It was... nice." I answerd quickly and walked up to my room.
Now I had been kissing a guy when I allready have a boyfriend! That just fellt really strange.
The clock striked nine and then I heard a knock on the window.
I opend and then Billie fell in on my bed. "Hello!" He said. "God, it was hard to clim up to your window!"
"What the hell are you going here!?" I asked and looked at him.
"Well, my stepdad Ben fighted with me so I got kinda pissed off and hoped that I could be with you." He said and looked at me.
"Couldn't you just knock on the door?" I said.
"You should have said that right before I desided to climb up here!" Billie laughed.
I heard footsteps in the stairs and got panic. I grabed Billie and puted him in the closet. "Shh! Be quiet!" I said and shuted the door.
Ann looked inside and looked at me. "What are you doing? I think I heard sounds."
I shook my head. "No you didn't... I where just about to read a book." I lied.
Ann looked at me and walked out.
I breathed out and turned to the locker.
I opend the door and found Billie trying a skirt he had found.
"I think this looks hotter on you than me, right?" he laughed.
"Billie Joe!" I said and crossed my arms.
"What!? be happy I tried it with pants on!" Billie smiled and puted the skirt back.
I laughed and sat down.
Billie sat down next to me. "Well I better get going because soon mom will do her normal check in my room and see if I'm okey." He smiled with a childish look on his face.
"Okey then." I said and opend the window.
Billie climbed out and gave me blow kisses before he climbed all the way down and walked home.
I sat and stared at the streets.
The street lights was on but there was not a single human there.
I got my night dress on and and went to sleep.
I woke up and turned on the stereo on loud volume.
Soon I heard banging on my door. "Turn the volume down!" Ann shouted.
I rolled my eyes and turned down a bit.
"Good!" I heard Ann on the other side. I got dressed and then I walked to school.
I sat down and sat next to Shay and Jazzie. They where my best friends so far and I really liked them.
Shay sat and looked at Mike who sat on the back with Billie and Tré. Mike was the blond guy and Tré was the one with brown hair from the food-hall.
They said that they had a band but me and the girls didn't belive them because we had never heard them play.
Tré was half asleep and Billie leaned against Mike who yawned.
I giggled and pointed at them to Shay and Jazz.
We tried not to laugh when Tré almost fall asleep. Then the teacher opend the door and he woke up.
Mike hited him in the head and whispered something.
The lesson passed and me and the girls went out.
My phone called. I picked it up and answerd.
- Whats?
- Hi! It's Sebastian and I just want to tell you that I'll visit you soon, probably today if it's possible.
- What!?
- Yeah... but I've gotta hung up. Bye!
He hung up and I just stood there.
Jazz and Shay looked at me. "Whats, how are you?"
"Sebastian is coming here!" I said.
"What!? Oh, shit!" Shay said.
"I know! What shall I say to Billie?"
"Be quiet about it." Jazz said.
The day went and on the afternoon I was sitting outside school, talking with Billie.
Then I saw Sebastian walking up to me. "Shit!" I thought.
"Hi, hun!" Sebastian said and huged me.
I looked at both boys. "Well this is Sebastian my... boyfriend..." I said.
I saw something in Billies face that told me this was not good.
Sebastian held around my shoulder.
"Well I just wanted to see you so... I'll see you later!" Sebastian said and huged me goodbye before walking away.
Billie looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me about him!?"
"I didn't know what to do!" I said sadly.
"You should have told me about it before I kissed you!" Billie said and I fellt alot off sadness land on my shoulders.
"Have fun with your boyfriend. And you know what? I never loved you anyway!" Billie said and gave me one last look before turning around and walking away.
I fellt the tears behind my eyes.
I runned home and locked my door.
"Why, why, why!" I cried. My body fellt like it was gonna explode.
Should I tell the girls? No that's not a good idéa...
The days passed and Billie didn't even look at me.
I sat in the livingroom and just stared in the roof. I was alone home and all I could think of was Billies face he had before he turned around that day. How could I be so stupid!? Why didn't I just tell Sebastian that I didn't know if I loved him.
The doorbell rang and I opend.
Sebastian stood outside. "Can I come in?" He asked.
"Sure." I said and he walked inside.
I went to my room and he followed me.
I sat down and the bed and he sat down next to me.
"Who was that guy when I saw you a couple of days ago?" He asked.
"Just my friend..." I said.
"Okey." Sebastian said and scratched his blond hair.
He took my hand and held it.
I looked at him and he smiled. He bended forward to me and kissed me.
The kiss didn't feel as good as when I had kissed Billie. This one fellt more uncomfertable and not right.
He bended further and came on top of me. "Stop it!" I said and walked away.
"What is it?" Sebastian said confused.
"I don't think if this is the right thing..." I said.
"What? Is it because of that Billie?" He said angry.
"I just want to..."
"To break up with me? Allright go and fuck that other guy then!" Sebastian said and pushed me in the wall before running out.
I held my backhead. "That son of a bitch..."
Sebastian walked out and shuted the door with a smash.
I held my head and looked around.
Well atleast I got rid of him.
I sat on my bed and then I got a feeling of calling Tré.
Tré had always been god at cheering people up.
I called and soon Tré answerd.
- Tré here!
- Hi, Tré. It's Whats.
- Hi, girl! How are you feeling?
- Wierd... I just broke up with Sebastian when he started to kiss me and it didn't feel right... and then he pushed me in the wall and my head kind of hurts, but there's not blood, thank god!
- Aha... That sucker deserve that you boke up with him.
- Why?
- Well he called me and the guys, fucking idiots so...
- Why did he do that?
- I don't know but it was kind of recently. Acually about 5 minuted ago. Saw uss sitting outside and then he gave Billie the you're-a-dead-kitty look and I got a bit mad and pointed finger at him when he turned around.
- Allright.
- 3,2...
-What?
- 1!
Then I heard the doorbell ring.
I walked downstairs and opend.
Tré, Mike and Billie stood outside.
Tré raised a eyebrow and pushed at Billie. "This little puppy want's to say something to you!"
Billie looked me in the eyes. "Well... the thing is that..."
I saw that he had truble to apologize so I just huged him.
He huged back. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you." he said.
Tré and Mike cheered. "Way to go, BJ!"
I smiled and laughed at them.
It was quiet for some seconds untill Mike went up to me and Billie.
He looked at us and then he move us closer and then he puted me and Billies heads closer.
"Eeuummm... Mike, what the hell are you doing?" Tré said.
Mike smiled. "Now, kiss!"
And without any further Billie kissed me.
Tré laughed and started to sing the wedding song. "Da da dadaaaaa! Da da dadaaaa, da da da da dadadaa da da daaa!"
I looked at Tré and hited him in the backhead.
Then a car went up on the lot and Ann came out.
She looked at the little caos when me and Billie fighted with Tré and Mike.
"What would Jazzie and Shay think of you!?" I laughed.
"Oh, they would like us!" Tré laughed. "Right, Mike?"
"You're so right Tré!" Mike smiled.
"What is this, Whats!?" Ann said.
I froze. "What!?"
"Are you hanging around with these... these punks!?"
She looked at the three young punk-rockers who sat in the livingroom with me.
The boys stood up. "Well, bye..." Tré said.
"Yeah, bye!" Ann said.
Billie miced with his lips. "See you!" Then he winked fast before walking out.
"Bye, Whats." Mike said before getting kicked out by Ann.
She closed the door.
"What the hell was that!?" I said.
"You shouldn't be with them!" Ann said and looked at me.
"Why not?" I said.
"Because they are punks and all they want is to get you to start, smoke, drink and then that one Billie will try to get in bed with you!" Ann said.
"What!? No!?" I said and fellt the anger grow inside of me.
I runned up to my room and shuted the door and locked it.
"That terrible son of a bitch!" I said and banged the wall.
I fellt the sadness eat me and that I fell into darkness.
All my demons from my pased breathed me in the neck and there was nothing I could do.
Everyone knew my family as a nice family... not a fucking chance!
My dad always hurted me when he was mad and so did Ann.
They hated me for everything.
The time ticked and I sat in the middle of my room just sitting still.
In the evening my door opend and dad came in
He smelled booze and smoke.
He looked at me. "Ann had told me about the little punks here!" He said with a unsecure voice that shook because of the alcohol.
I swallowed and just sat there.
He hited me with his fist in my stomach.
I sat there and cried.
He grabed my shirt. "Look at me! You are just a dirty whore!"
He grabed my hair and pulled it. I screamed in pain and then I fell on the floor.
I closed my eyes and waited for the finnishing hit. It never came because he walked out.
I laid on the floor and cried.
I shook of fear, that he would open the door again.
He had done this from when I was little.
I always worn long pants not to show the marks of where he had been hiting me.
I cried untill I couldn't cry anymore.
I laid down on my bed. I fellt really heavy and just fell asleep shaking of fear.
I woke up and walked to school fast.
I sat in the classroom and breathed out not to be close to dad or Ann.
When it was lunch I sat down on one of the benches outside.
Billie came up to me and sat down. "Is something wrong?" He asked.
I swallowed not to cry and he puted his arm around me.
I noded.
"What is it?" He asked carefully.
I pulled up one of the legs on the pants and showed him some marks.
He looked at me. "Who has done this!?"
"D-dad and Ann..." I said.
Billie pulled down the leg of my pants and huged me tightly.
"How long have they been doing this?" he asked.
"All the way back to when I was 5." I said and puted my face in his shirt.
I fellt his arms around me and then a kiss on the hair. "I will solve this out, I promise." He said.
Then I heard Mike and Trés worried voices. "What have hapend?"
Billie told them.
"Oh my fucking god..." Tré said.
"Is this true Whats?" Mike asked.
I looked at him and noded.
"You really need to tell the police." He said.
"I can't... I will have to move away from you guys..." I said and fellt the tears behind my eyes.
The boys sat with me all day even if we missed alot of lessons.
"I don't want to go home..." I said.
Billie helped me up and held my hand. "Let's go to me then."
We walked over to Billies house.
I sat on the coutch in the livingroom.
Billie went out to the kitchen and came back with hot chockolate.
"Thanks." I said and took a sip.
"So did you dad do it again last night or what?" Billie asked and looked at me.
"Yes... I hate when he does that. He's the worst but Ann is not fun either." I said.
"So both do this to you?"
I noded. "It's so hard when I havn't told anyone exept you."
Billie jumped closer to me and held me close to him.
"I just fight with Ben alot and get tracked by bullies and now when I've heard about how you have it..." He scratched his neck.
We sat in his livingroom untill Billies mom Ollie came in.
"Hi, Billie!" She said.
"Hi, mom!" Billie answerd. "This is Whats. The girl I've told you about."
Ollie smiled. "Hi Whats."
I smiled back. "Hi."
She walked away to the kitchen.
"I don't want to go home." I said.
"Then don't." Billie said. "I can get the others here and then we will have a good time and we will make sure that you will be safe!" Billie said.
Five minutes late the front door opend and Mike, Shay, Tré and Jazzie came in.
"Let's watch a movie!" Tré said and puted three movies infront of us. Titanic, Mirrors and M.r bean.
All of us wanted to see Mirrors so we did.
Everyone sat in one coutch looking at the horror-movie.
Suddenly there was a pop-up scene and everyone jumped.
"Shit! I think I just got a heart attack!" Billie said with a strange face.
We looked at the movie and soon it was over.
"I will never look in a mirror again!" Shay said.
Mike laughed at her.
"I was serious!" Shay said and hited him in the backhead.
The time went and all of us where going to sleep in the livingroom.
Tré talked with Jazz.
Billie laughed. "If you hear any strange sounds in the night, then it's Tré and Jazz!"
Soon all laughed untill the air was out of our lungs.
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