A tear in the sky |
(Så, kände för att skriva en på engelska, bara en del!)
A tear from the sky fell down on her cheek. Slowly ran down her skin, got blended with the tears from her eyes.
She took a deep breath, let the midnight-summer air fill her lungs. The soft raindrops kept falling down on her, but she welcomed them. Even though no one was there, they could hide her tears from someone. Herself…
They could help her pretend that nothing ever had happened, that there was nothing to cry for. Because deep inside, behind all the crying feelings, she knew that she shouldn’t cry. She shouldn’t show her weakness, even though there still wasn’t anyone there. Not even to herself, because of the simple reason that everything would get so much harder then.
Much harder to face that you’re weak, than keep pretending you are strong, that you can make it. Can hold it, can fix everything…
And annoying, way too shrill, sound, interrupted her thoughts. Her thankfulness for the rain, that now, when everything seemed so much more normal, only was irritating. She realized that you had to be in a special mood to love the rain in that way, sad, but true.
Her fingers were shaky when she took up her cell phone from the tight pocket. She realized, for the first time, that her legs were ice cold and that the jeans had big spots of darkness, where the rain had darkened it. With a voice trying to sound as normal, and not sad, as possible she answered the unknown number that had called her. Her heart got filled with fear, by something that most have been a reflex, because no one answered, and she had simply no idea who it was that might have called. But the fear kept lying in her heart, her mind, and stopped her from starting enjoying the rain again. Actually it did stop the tears from falling too, but she wasn’t sure if it really was positive…
Because it had been so much easier, if she had cried. Crying was, in some way, a proof that it was the right decision she was about to make. But now, when she only was fearful, cause of some stupid phone call that she had no idea who it was from. It kind of stopped her from taking the last step. The step that would take her away from the tears, and into the eternity. She had been so sure, that it was the right decision. That it was nothing else to do. But, suddenly she wasn’t so sure… It was like the rain that softly fell down on her, heated up her frozen skin, tried to tell her to not do it.
She cached a sky tear, or as she liked to call it herself, angel tear. Was it really the fact that she didn’t know who she was going to guard that stopped her? The fact that she was so afraid. Afraid of spoiling something that might happen, maybe the next day! Afraid that she would ruin someone else’s life at the same time… With dying, she would stop someone from finding their true love. What is she was someone’s true love? Someone out there, standing crying on a roof, hoping that something better waited at them on the other side.
And suddenly it seemed so clear, again. Of course she couldn’t do it, she had to fix her own problems. And then start on with a new life. It was so obvious now, why had it ever been another choice? She lifted her leg to take step that would bring her away from the edge.
She didn’t know why it happened. Maybe it was just because her balance was out of control, but a sharp wind blew past her. And, like in a dream, she felt how she flied.
She flied, out of the roof, into the eternity. The other side she no longer wanted to go to…
Then it all got black, and she started crying tears with the other angels…
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