Demolition lovers Del 4 |
Gerard (at the hotel)
Damn, I really felt bad for how we treated that girl. Now that I’ve slept for some hours and feel like my self again I admit we kind of stepped over the line. It was a stupid idea from the beginning, but back there, it seemed more innocent than it turned out. Even though I didn’t say much my self, I could have stopped the other guys from totally crack her down. After Bobs really mean comment I thought she would start to cry or something ( I wouldn’t blame her) but instead she brought us all back to reality again. We’re not idiots, we’re just normal guys that behaved like idiots. My bad conscience was about to slowly tear me apart. I wanted to apologize to her but it was too late now. She was gone and I’ll never se her again. I was surprised over how much that thought hurted.
- “Hey Gee?” I looked over at Mikey. ”You’re okay? You look like someone stole your cookie.” He looked at me with concern in his eyes. I knew I couldn’t lie to my own brother so I sighed and said:
- “It’s that girl…” Frank looked over at me from the sofa.
- “Yeah, she was hot, huh?” he smiled but I could tell it was fake.
- “She was?” Mikey looked wide eyed at Frank. The whole band joined the conversation now. Bob raised his eyebrows at mikey.
- “Can you honestly say that you didn’t find this girl attractive?” Everyone looked at mikey.
- “How the fuck should I know? My glasses are missing, remember?”
- “Oh that’s why you thought that trashcan was Gerard?” Frank laughed at the thought of mikey asking the trashcan which cartoon it liked the most.
- “well, it smelt just like him!” Every one cracked up laughing but I didn’t really feel like laughing right now. I didn’t like being the one ruining their good time but I had to ask:
- “Don’t you guys feel bad for how we treated that girl.” everyone stopped laugh immediately and looked just as guilty as I felt my self. The room went silent until frank *harklade sig*
- “Of course we do…I-“ he was cut of by Chris who just entered the room.
-“I see some guilty faces here.” He said seriously. “If I where you I would feel ashamed to. You treated that girl like shit.” What!? He was the one that came up with this stupid idea in the first place!
- “Well, it was your fucking idea!” Mikey snaped at him. Chris sighted heavily and I understood that he knew something we didn’t. He saw me gazing at him and burst:
- “How the fuck was I supposed to know that she almost got raped minuets earlier!?” We all looked at each other. Mikey opened his mouth but kept silent, Ray looked at Chris in disbelieve while frank just stared at his hands. This was just too much for me to handle and I knew I was going to do something stupid.
Kim
Jag vaknade av att mitt täcke åkte ner på golvet, jag frös men var för trött för att orka ta upp det. Det var fortfarande mörkt ute, fortfarande natt. Jag kollade min mobil. 15 missade samtal varav 1 var från mamma och resten Dennis. Varför hade jag inte hört när min mobil ringt? Plötsligt var det som att någon slog mig med ett basebollträ och jag mindes allt som hänt efter att basen slutat dunka.
Nej, spola tillbaka mitt liv, eller åtminstone pausa så jag får smälta det som hänt. Ni måste tro att jag lever ett otroligt spännande liv där slagsmål och möten med rockstjärnor är vardag. Jag får hålla med om att det sista dygnet har varit som taget ur ”våra bästa år” eller liknande såpa. Fattas bara att mamma kommer in och presenterar Robin/Äcklet som min nya styvbror.
Nej, mitt liv är långt ifrån händelserikt. Inte övertygade? Ni kan få en snabb resumé.
*Föddes, den är ju ganska viktig…
*Lärde mig prata. Mitt första ord var Karo som var namnet på familjens hund.
* lärde mig gå vid 11 månaders ålder.
* Lärde mig både cykla och simma sommaren jag fyllde 6.
* Följande höst dog Karo och min familj började falla sönder.
* Mina föräldrar skilde sig. Jag var 14 år och ingen blev särskilt förvånad. Pappa träffade snabbt en ny tjej. 1 år senare hade de flyttat till Spanien tillsammans. Jag kommer aldrig förlåta honom för det. Aldrig.
* Jag upptäckte musiken. Innan hade jag bara lyssnat på mainstream musik utan att reflektera så mycket över budskap och känsla. MCR’s musik öppnade mina ögon för en helt ny värld av andra människors tankar och känslor som jag kunde relatera till.
* Jag köpte mina första Converse. Mellan 14 och 15 gick jag igenom någon sorts förändring inombords. Jag kom ett steg på vägen att bli den jag vill vara. Någon som jag tror är mig själv. Musiken var en viktig del av det också.
* Detta är två punkter i en. Jag träffade Dennis på min första riktiga konsert. På scen var AFI och senare kom han att bli min närmsta vän. Han var också viktig på det sättet att han introducerade mig för folk som precis som jag älskade musik.
Ni ser? Inga konstigheter. Jag blundade och försökte tömma min hjärna på tankar som jag hört att man ska göra för att typ nå en annan dimension. Trots mina försök var det minnes bilder från igår som envist hoppade fram och hindrade mig. Det var Franks hånskratt, Gerards tomma blick och fiaskot i det röda rummet.
Dennis ropade på mig. Jag spanade i mängden efter hans svarta tuperade hår och randiga tröja. Folk trängdes och knuffade sin väg fram, jag försökte stå stilla men tvingades med strömmen av allvarliga människor. plötsligt grep någon tag om min handled och drog mig bakåt, iväg från den framrusande folkmassan. Jag var inte rädd, jag visste vem det var som otåligt drog mig i armen. Dennis hade alltid bråttom. Livet är inte alltid så lång som du tror, lilla Kimme, brukade han säga och jag brukade skratta och kittla honom tills allvaret i hans ögon försvann. Vi hade kommit till en återvändsgränd när han släppte greppet om min handled. Jag vände mig om och såg in i hans fina ögon som aldrig ljög. Hans läppar öppnades.
-”Gillar du My Chemical Romance?” jag ryckte till, det där kände jag igen. Alltför väl. Men detta var min Dennis, inte äcklet. Eller? Jag tittade upp, till min förvåning var det inte Dennis gröna ögon som såg tillbaka på mig utan ett par kalla blåa. Men rösten var definitivt Dennis när han sa:
”Jag vet att du vill detta lika mycket som jag” och tryckte sina kalla läppar mot mina. Varför var han så kall? Detta var fel, Dennis var min vän och jag ville inte detta, de där ögonen skrämde mig. Jag drog mig hastigt undan och beredde mig på att fly men kom av mig i chocken över att se varken Dennis eller äcklet stå framför mig. Gerard stod tyst och såg uttryckslöst på mig. Jag vaknade med ett ryck.
Gerard
- “Come on mother fuckers!” I shouted out loud as we walked from the bar. We had all got quite drunk by now and I was worst as usual. It had been a crazy night, I’m still not used to all the girls flirting with me. Well of course it’s because I’m famous and usually I hate it, but tonight it felt good. It some how helped me to forget the whole embarrassing story with that girl. Gosh, I didn’t even know her fucking name!
- “Gee, watch out for the-“ Ray started but it was too late. I tripped over something big and slammed my forehead right in to the ground.
- “Trashcan…”, Ray finished before they all fell to the ground as well, laughing their heads off.
- “Are you okay?” Mikey asked in between laugh.
- “Of course bro…I'm fucking superman”, I got up on my feet and started to walk again.
- “But you’re bleeding man…”,Frank looked at me slightly concerned. I was too drunk to even care, I just kept on walking while giggling to my self.
- “Time to get back to the hotel?”,Frank asked looking at the others.
Frank
- “Damn, he’s heavy”, I burst as Bob and I dragged Gee across the hall trough wards his bedroom. Of Corse he had picked the one upstairs. He said that he liked the view better up there, but I have a feeling that he just wanted to be alone. I don’t really get him sometimes. There are periods he don’t even let me know what’s was on his mind. Mikey is used to it and know how to handle him. But for me it is hard to se him isolating himself from us like that. But then again, maybe he just liked the view.
- “Lets just lay him down on his bed”, bob said struggling against gravity with Gerard practically hanging on his shoulder.
As we not so carefully dumped Gee at his bed he muttered something about cookies and beer. Bob smiled lightly while shaking his head, and went out of the room. I guess he was dead tired to, luckily we had our day of tomorrow. We probably just watch TV all day and order take away food. I fucking love day offs! I watched Gee sleep, some drool dripping from his mouth.
- “I love you man”, I whispered and kissed his forehead before I went after Bob.
I wonder if we have any cookies…
Gerard
I was on stage, the crowd was screaming out my name. Mikey stood on my left side and Ray on the right. They played like they’ve never played before, every new chord was a piece of art. Just as I was about to start singing I saw her .She stood in the front row right in front of me. The screaming people around her didn’t seem to affect her at all. She just stood there with a blank expression in her face. Her eyes where focused on me, I knew it was time for me to sing but the lyrics seemed blown out of my head. I stumbled on words and the flashlights where blinding me. I dropped the microphone, I had to get of this fucking stage! I started running trough wards the exit but tripped on a bottle that someone had thrown. My face against the floor and tears streaming from my eyes, I suddenly felt someone stroking me gently down my back. All the fear and panic disappeared and I was left with a feeling of hope. I turned my head up to take a look at my rescuer and saw a pair of light blue eyes. It was her. Her pale skin was glowing in the dark as she stood there in front of me, she was so close I could reach out and touch her but I was afraid to scare her away so I just whispered:
- “I’m so sorr-“
It was all dark around me. My body was shaking and my head was a mess. The sheet in my bed was wrapped like a rope around me causing me to panic. I fell to the floor but got up again, there was something I knew I just had to do.
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| Kommentarer - (Snittbetyg: 5) | SoakedInLuxury_ - 27 nov 07 - 23:22- Betyg:  | | Mållös.. Fortsätt som du gör <3<3 | | tjoh - 27 nov 07 - 22:42- Betyg: | | jättebra ! :D ge mig meeeera ! (a) <3 ! |
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