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Marilyn 22

again the galas, the parties, the feast they had promised her. JFKs face, hovering above her like a sad Prince, a ghost, a dark lover. She shook her head and closed shut her Eyes. She was again in her Palace, with those black windows. She was looking out the window, and seeing famous ghosts...roses, sanddunes, her girlroom, the first time she had discovered her body, herself, her mother going to the insane asylum, her fosterparents, I didn´t need a fosterhome, I had a mother! Marilyn smiled and dreamed that she was again a Little girl, who nobody loved, of the first time seeing the Hollywood sign, one of many Girls seeing that sign, one of many who was chosen. Marilyn Monroe on that sign, Oh I was absolutely destroyed!! I wanted them to have my real name, Norma jean Baker, so that the Girls at the orphanage would recognise me, those who never noticed me! I was married for the first time with Jim, an average man, he was jeallous and I Think he was right about that. One of the men I had, ah, I told him to go buy condoms, haha, he was so angry! I even had Anton Szandor LaVey once, oh. He was playing piano at that club I sang at....memories.. Marilyn lit a cigarette and let the smoke create a cloud of haze and bit a scarf, like that famous Picture in that famous Magazine...I was not sure whether I really was a sexsymbol, like they thought. No, i was just me, a sad, scared bipolar girl from a smalltown....

I was sad, oh how I missed father. He was never at those clubs, I never saw him in the crowds. And oh, my heart belongs to Daddy.....and that Movie, Some like it hot! Again, a dumb blonde. How could I not tell they´re men?! I wanted to turn the script into confetti...but i took the part anyway. I, Marilyn, whoever that was, and she´s so pretty, so lonely when the cameras shut down. The celluloid Dreams were nothing. I had Money, and my journey from being an invisible girl they called mouse, to goddess, with Silicon in my jaw and an operated small toe. I was notagain the galas, the parties, the feast they had promised her.
I was sad, oh how I missed father. He was never at those clubs, I never saw him in the crowds. And oh, my heart belongs to Daddy.....and that Movie, Some like it hot! Again, a dumb blonde. How could I not tell they´re men?! I wanted to turn the script into confetti...but i took the part anyway. I, Marilyn, whoever that was, and she´s so pretty, so lonely when the cameras shut down. The celluloid Dreams were nothing. I had Money, and my journey from being an invisible girl they called mouse, to goddess, with Silicon in my jaw and an operated small toe. I was not perfect! Marilyn ran around naked, photographed by Anne Leibowitz and on streets of mexico, shadows of those Indians lengthened over the hacienda...stars fell, Marilyn danced in her blouse and her Pearl necklace. Her smile, on those posters, I am covered by my scarf, and I am again there, with joe, oh Joe, i would spend hours saying his name, rocking back and forth, psychotic. Marilyn swayed, nothing more. She saw Joe and ran over to him, his arms holding her, oh Joe, ah...those italians. I had run down naked and he saw me Before everyone else did and ran upstairs with me screaming cover yourself!! Baseball...and acting. Model, face visible to them, men and women, halfmoon faces, watching me from their lamplights, and their smiles and their silver popples, the dinner by the TV, and their wives. Now, I am again amongst the palmtrees inside my Hollywood house. I Watch the water and memories, silver decay of uttered promises, rosebuds falling, Movie companies and silver linings. I was unloved. All I wanted was a Child. I was pregnant, but lost it. it was a girl. The writer hugged my maid, and they shared the same grief. I am so lost. Oh why are all those people smiling at me, for? I said after the hospital visit. They love you they said, and we left in the car, me waving, my tears locked by photographers and fans. Jose Bolero, my last lover. Oh who cares if his Movies were cheap lovestories? Everything else he did was Amazing.

She. Her face, and her voluptuos body, I am again singing, like a Nightingale a summer night by a window for someone out there. I was loved by the masses, they wanted a piece of me but Death got to me first. Hollywood beach, cars, glossy Magazines, Movies...and that night. She´s soaring high above now, baby high above. She, I never knew her.




Marilyn Monroe, the sexgoddess everyone forgave for going into the Deep sleep. That night when alot of men came and Went. She called her friend and asked if he could come over. She got a no and told him it cant be mentioned on the phone...and then a raven came and put his wings over her. Ah, and she entered the big sleep, killed by JFK, choked with a pillow. She slept and entered the spiritworld and some years passed and she happily welcomed the author and the baseballplayer to heaven. Oh, heaven...she writes poems, and has a drink with her friend


Sylvia Plath in the rosegarden. She with her oven and cheating husband and her Eyes-ouijaboards and old Clocks, and the oven. She put tape over the doors and windows and took a handkerchief and inhaled the gas...And died. And now they were drinking punsch and eating chocolate cookies. They talk about their men and their photographs and Sylvias talent. Poetry and litterature. And Hitler was such a tender lover and the Marquis was such a nice daddy.


Silver linings and born utterly and forever. Made an Icon by a dull and damned Hollywood where celluloid Dreams were smashed by moon faces, and hope scattered and killed. She. The Marilyn Monroe statue, Norma Jean Baker. Oh her Movie friends, to show them what she could do, and if they could help make her a "serious, dramatic actress"...She´s watching and smiling, and all those male actors, Bogart-the greatest of them all, a gentleman, one of the very best. Who died after that Movie....Marilyn blamed herself for his passing and cried. Her face on apartments and posters. Oh I was so insecure, so dumb. Ran around naked in her apartment


and drewled spaghetti and joked and Joe...oh.
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